just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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