he shaved USA in his pubs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
