bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
