Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
