That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
