that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's the barista slut.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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