that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
someone owes me an orgasm
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
