Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
