there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
