Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
