After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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