YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
