i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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