Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
