Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
