Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
