If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize