thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
