And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize