Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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