I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
