i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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