If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
