I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
