okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
