is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize