somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
