Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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