what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize