Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
