I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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