Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
