the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
