Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
