atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
