I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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