what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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