she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
