dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
