Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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