hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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