Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dignity is for republicans.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
