she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
