I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
