Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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