What a fucking waste of an outfit
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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