$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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