I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
never play flip cup with pint glasses
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Are we still banned from the library?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
