Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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