God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
