We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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