what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
did you just send me my own nude
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
