Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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