I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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