it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
