He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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