wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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