I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize