So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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