Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
