The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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